A Thought

I set here and wonder.

Who am I?

What is my purpose?

Do I fit in?

Am I on my own journey?

Does anyone care?


I will just stay to myself.

Close door.

Shade the windows.

Block the sounds of life.

Just stay out-of-the-way.


The door…

Someone is on the other side.


Waiting patiently for me to open.

I hesitate.

My thoughts are dark…

No time for you.

Go away.

I want to be left alone.


Suddenly there is no noise…

No movement.

I peek out the windows.

nothing is seen.

I open the door a little bit…

No one is there.

I am alone.


Alone in spirit within.

My soul has become rebellious against

my thoughts of changing to the good.

The fleshly want of wrong are strong in me.

Wanting to do my own thing.

I have close the door to my heart.

I have close the windows to my mind…

So that I will not see the light.

My hopes?

Is to be left alone.

The don’t bother me with your testimonies.

That which brings the hope of eternal life.


Just go away.

I wish to live in darkness.

I don’t want to know…

Has kicked in.

Just leave me be.


For a while there is nothing within me.

I feel like that of a stone.

Cold and still.

Worry and fear comes within me.

I look down in front of me.

I see a shadow.

Dark it is.

It is of me.

Not only is darkness in front of me…

But also within me.

Dead I am.

How long will this be?

Will it be possible ever to see hope?

Where do I start?


I will begin by myself.

I will solve it is my thoughts.

I begin noticing I am getting deeper and deeper

within the darkness that seems to have no freedom…

No  happiness, just guilt that keeps telling me…

There is no chance for you.

Give up.

Do you remember this and that…

Which was destroying you in and out of your life.


No success.

No happiness.

Cannot get free from all the guilt…

The darkness.

Giving up.

Giving up.


Suddenly a flicker of light.

Light trying to show through cracks

 and crannies of the soul.

The door’s lock is weak.

But yet that one who is knocking…

Will not enter until I accept him in.


The Son shines before me.

Darkness is fading away.

I begin to forgive myself.

Become at peace.

Joy is within and without.

You ask.

What has happen?




Has enter my life.

For God So Love The World.

That He Gave His only Begotten Son.

That who so ever believeth in Him should not perish.

But Have Everlasting Life.

(From the Holy Word of God)

                St. John 3:16


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